As we look to the heavens for mysterious balloons overhead, we may catch a glimpse of oil industry profits somewhere in the upper stratosphere. (Or more likely in the exosphere.)

The West’s top oil and gas corporations posted eye-popping profits recently, with a combined total of around $200 billion for the leading five oil giants.

War profiteering and taking advantage of consumers as inflation rose? Not according to the oil-soaked CEOs.

Record-breaking profits merely show that they are doing everything right as they lead the world to a green energy future. Never mind that their actual investments in renewable energy pale in comparison to what they put into fossil fuels.

Oil and gas industry shills are quick to point out neat greenwashing programs like powering one (1) bus with coffee grounds and collecting “renewable natural gas” (also known as cow farts).

Don’t be fooled, they’re war profiteers who saw their chance to make up for profits lost during the Covid pandemic—as their balance sheets and corporate planning show, they have no intention of undermining their core business by switching to renewables.